Dispatch from a city on fire
Los Angeles is burning.
I’ve been trying to find the right words to write for this week’s newsletter. I drafted something on Friday but haven’t been able to pick it back up since. Same goes for most of my normal life and work things.
I guess this is what happens when your city is on fire.
I am safe at home in a pretty central part of Los Angeles just east of Hollywood. You have probably read or seen a lot about what’s going on here but here’s my abbreviated experience of this past week:
The Santa Ana Winds started howling on Tuesday. Driving to work that morning was intense, with leaves and pebbles swirling dramatically around my car on the roads and freeways. I decided to drive home that afternoon to avoid getting stuck in traffic and worse weather. But the winds were so strong that, at one point, while my car was at a red light, it shook so intensely that I thought there was an earthquake.
The two biggest fires started later that night. The Palisades Fire on the west in the Pacific Palisades and the Eaton Fire on the east in Altadena.
A couple of other fires have sparked since then, including the Sunset Fire in the Hollywood Hills on Wednesday. The evacuation zones inched closer to my neighborhood that night.
My partner and I had our go bags in the car but, as the fires got worse, we decided to pack other valuables and clothing in case we needed to leave for awhile.
Clothing and emergency items are somewhat easy to put together especially if your dad is a boy scout and has sent you a bunch of articles and information about this over the years (lol).
To figure out what to bring in terms of valuables — what is truly worth something to you and to pack them up in a limited amount of time — was an interesting and, in some ways, painful experience.
I have moved so many times over the years that I don’t have a lot of stuff. Most of the stuff I do have is just that — stuff.
In terms of important life stuff, many of those things are digital. Then there are the physical things — the stuff that represents memories, people, and important moments in time.
I combed through old boxes and drawers to find photos, notebooks, journals, and memorabilia. There were old cards from friends and family with heartfelt or hilarious notes. There were scratch pieces of yellow legal pad scribbled with silly but important ideas. Mini-DV tapes filled with family events and my personal vlogs before vlogging was a thing. Photos from my childhood living in Manila and Malaysia and the Bay.
There is this one old photo of me just under two years old, holding a doll while standing with my two tiny feet in my mom’s heeled pumps. The caption on the back of the photo reads: “In mama’s shoes (literally).”
Going through these old memories put a smile on my face despite the very somber process of organizing items in case of an evacuation.
I realized that these are the things that are most valuable to me. These are the things I started to pack.
I put as many of these things as I could into my one file box that would fit in my car with our emergency bags. We spent most of the week glued to the TV and our phones, wondering whether or not we would have to leave.
In the end, we were very lucky. We got to stay. We did not lose anything.
This weekend, we were even able to get out and help others in need as best we can.
Still, it’s a difficult and painful time in Los Angeles right now. This is also not over as we wait for the fires to stop and the winds to start howling back again early this week.
I’m not sure how our city returns to “normal” after all of this.
I don’t have the right words to say except that I’m trying my best.
Hoping we’ll get out of this on the other side okay.
I’ve been sharing resources for donating and volunteering, and for people who need help, on my instagram at @paolamardo. I think it’s best to check there since things are changing by the hour in terms of what certain organizations need and I don’t want to leave outdated information here.
I wrote a little bit about my process for focusing my donations and support in my stories and I’ll share that below in case it helps. I also wanted to share a couple of links that made me lol and/or brightened my day despite a very dark week:
