how to craft your own career
chase dreams not titles
I am halfway through Barry Diller’s memoir Who Knew and one of the biggest takeaways for me, so far, is that if you want to get to the tippy top of a wild and creative-driven industry like Hollywood, you have to trust your instincts (even when it’s scary), be confident (even if you don’t feel like it), and don’t be afraid to do the different thing (even when everybody else would rather do the same, safe thing).
It also helps to be a white dude who grew up in Beverly Hills in the 1950s and 1960s with classmates like Nora Ephron buuuuut but that’s for another post.
(Btw, I find Diller fascinating. I wrote about him back in my film blogger era. I would love to interview him one day if anyone wants to make a connect…)
I don’t remember how I stumbled into reading memoirs of old school producers and moguls, but they’ve been a staple part of my literary diet. I’ve said this before, I didn’t have mentors so I turned to books. When I Stop Talking, You’ll Know I’m Dead by Jerry Weintraub was probably my first. The Kid Stays in the Picture by Robert Evans is one of the wildest and best. They Can Kill You But They Can't Eat You by Dawn Steel is a perennial fave. (There are so few women who have written memoirs in this space… and even less people of color… but if you have recs, share them in the comments please!)
As a millennial and 1.5 generation immigrant, I was taught to put my head down, do the work, and promotions and good things will come. I tried that at my first job as a temp assistant at a major movie studio. I was eventually hired but remained an assistant for several years.
I kept my head down and spirits up though. Year after year, I would wait for my employee review, where I planned to dazzle my boss with all the incredible things I did, way beyond my job title and pay grade, and hope and pray that I would finally get that new job title, promotion, and, hey, maybe even a raise.
Year after year, that day never came.
What they don’t teach you growing up or in college — or what I didn’t learn then, anyway — is that jobs at corporations come with politics, agendas, and so many elements at play beyond the role and responsibilities you are assigned as a mere cog in the machine.
The entertainment industry is not a meritocracy.
The moguls and producers whose books I have read weren’t always given promotions for doing hard work. Their success was a result of a mix of talent, skill, smarts (of all kinds), luck, and good, old-fashioned, town politics.
While there seem to be more suits and less colorful characters these days, I do believe you have to be persuasive, bold, and visionary to make it in an industry that is all based on make-believe — and that is getting eaten up by tech, frankly.
Early in my career, I was always waiting for my big break, for someone to notice just how awesome I was, and how I deserved so much more. But that never happened no matter how many times I was called a “rockstar.”
This played out in different jobs and stages of my life.
When I was an independent podcast host and producer, who had gotten some traction with my indie podcast, I had a couple meetings with a very successful and pioneering podcast executive. I hoped she might pick up the show or help me figure out how I could get more financing or become part of a network or, I don’t know, mentor me.
But in one meeting, she told me the best place to get financing for my kind of show was to go to companies in the Philippines (because, apparently, no one in the U.S. would be interested in funding my kind of podcast). Another time, I crossed paths with her after we both spoke at panels at a podcast festival. I wanted to talk business and pitch her my show. She said I should come work for her someday as an employee.
That last meeting killed me. No matter how hard I worked and even though I was already the host of a growing podcast that had gotten accepted into a prestigious Google accelerator program that year… she never saw me as anything more than a mid-level worker at best.
(I did end up getting a job interview with one of her mid-level employees… and they ghosted me after that. Not sure what happened there but I can tell you a lot of those employees don’t work there anymore and neither does she. But anyway…)
I have stopped waiting for my big break or opportunity.
I have learned to create opportunities for myself.
When I started to chase dreams not titles, that’s when my career actually started to flourish.
It’s a harder way to build a career and it is not a one-size-fits-all thing. I know this is hard when you have things like student loans and bills and rent to pay. It takes time and you have to buckle down and focus. It also depends on what you do and what your goals are. But it’s possible. I’ve been there. I’ve done it. I’m doing it.
Funny enough, I just realized that it has been 10 years since I started podcasting and, truly, pivoting my life and career into something that wasn’t just what I wanted to do, but that felt — and feels — fulfilling, meaningful, and purposeful.
That’s another thing about me I have come to learn — I can’t just do a job to do a job. It has to mean something.
It took a lot of trial and error, experimentation, and even failure to get to where I am. Eventually, I figured it out, and I’m still learning as I go.
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My recs for the week:
Producer Paula McGann on Team Deakins Podcast. It still blows my mind that a legendary cinematographer hosts a weekly podcast. Roger Deakins and his partner James Deakins have created a real treasure trove of film history and education on their show. They interview people from various facets of the industry from assistant directors to location managers to actors to film school professors. There are old school veterans with incredible career stories and working professionals with great insights on what is happening in the business right now. If you want to work in the film or TV business, especially on the production side, I would suggest searching their catalog for whatever job it is you are interested in and listening to each and every one of those episodes. Since I am producing my first short film, I started to listen to every episode featuring a producer. This latest one with Paula McGann (1917, DARKEST HOUR, MIDNIGHT SKY) is excellent, going over everything from navigating the industry early in your career to what it takes to really put a film together from scratch as an indie producer today. Also, as someone who was stuck being an assistant for years, it’s comforting to know that other people (women, hello) have experienced similar career paths and still made it out more than okay.
H.A.G.S. How are we already halfway through the summer, or past halfway through the year? Enjoy the summer. Get off your phone. Touch grass or sand or whatever you need. I definitely need to and hope to do so soon. Have a Great Summer!
Loved this piece. No recs, but a book that really became my bible in film school was "Conversations at the American Film Institute with the Great Moviemakers"