Thanks for subscribing to my newsletter SUBTITLES.
There are quite a few new folks in here and I want to thank you all for subscribing and share a couple updates.
I don’t have a ton of time so this is going to be my word vomit of thoughts, slightly edited for clarity/so I don’t sound ridiculous.
Here we go…
If you have been here since way back when (like several months only lol), you know that I was generally pretty good about writing weekly (ish) on this thing.
Then lots of things happened at work.
I’ll keep it brief: We released a movie at Proximity Media where I work.
I directed and produced a podcast special series about it.
At Proximity, I lead audio and digital storytelling, and that includes creative directing our socials and website. We rolled out a bunch of new stuff on there too with the film and other projects to come.
So, yeah. It’s been a very, very busy last few months, to say the last.
I’m really proud of the work my team and I have done. I’m proud of myself for getting through it! Trying new things! Still learning!
I’m also…. honestly…. tired. And I need a better way to balance it all.
I am still figuring that part out. That’s what this newsletter is supposed to be about… so can I fast forward to the figured it all out part yet??
I’m also doing some new things that I’m kind of… I guess, scared of? Or maybe the more appropriate feeling is that… I don’t know what I don’t know, and that’s what makes this all very hard and different and… exciting?
I’m producing a short film. This is my first time doing something like this.
I’ve worked on and around movies in different capacities. I’ve produced podcasts and (dare I say the “c” word) digital content. I have written a bunch of things that I do want to make into visual things some day. But I have never produced an actual film.
The film is called VETERANO and it’s a crime thriller written and directed by my creative and life partner Patrick Epino. It’s a very special story and I’ll share more about it when we’re ready.
If you’ve listened to my podcast LONG DISTANCE, you know that Patrick has been my “producer, partner, whatever” on the pod. This is the first time I’m producing a project of his. It’s exciting but also a new and different way to work with each other.
I’m learning a lot through this experience. It’s actually pushed me to ask for help, which I’m quite bad at. And I feel like I’m a better producer because I ask for help and am not afraid to ask questions. I wasn’t always like this, btw.
I am also learning to manage my time between this and work/other stuff.
Did I mention I’m likely about to host a podcast?
More on that another time....
For now, I guess I’ll say this: I’m learning to love the process.
I’ve always been a planner and dreamer. Like planning and dreaming for the future, my hopes, goals, and dreams.
I had dinner with an old high school friend the other day and she said that my ambition is inspiring and something about how I was always planning for big things or something like that.
She is not the first person to say this to me.
And I am sharing this not to brag but to actually highlight a problem.
I don’t live in the moment enough. I don’t stop to enjoy.
Because I always feel like I need to keep working on the next thing.
Because it feels like if I don’t, something bad will happen.
Some disaster, catastrophe, or ridiculous thing that ends it all —
Is that weird? Too much? Anxiety, hello!
So I want to enjoy this moment.
I’m not where I want to be… yet. I don’t think I may ever be. So why not try to at least be happy and be present, or at least take a beat to acknowledge how far I have come?
Because it’s pretty damn far.
15-year-old me is the me I think about a lot when I plan for my life ahead. Because she had hopes and dreams and challenges and new and scary things to deal with… All while she was listening to hyphy music with her stunna shades on driving in her blue Honda Civic with a 12” sub in the trunk. (Lol you had to be in that iconic Bay Area era to truly understand. More below.)
Anyway, she’d be really proud of how far she/I… we (?) have come. Even though it’s often hard to remember that in the moment.
So all that said, I hope to write more about all these projects I got cooking up, things I’m doing and learning everyday, and maybe some BTS stuff to show the process and progress of it all.
Thing is, writing this letter takes time and energy that I don’t always have.
But I’ve been thinking a lot about art, the value of it, the cost of it, and who should get paid and why. And as much as I love a good deal and free, I am a creative person who makes things and would hope to be compensated for the time and energy I put into it.
So I will likely start charging for this letter at some point.
Appreciate if you can at least consider supporting it when the time is right.
Make a pledge now if you can at the button below.
OK THAT IS IT.
Excuse the rambling post. I’m working on getting back in the game.
More to come!
Btw here are some of my latest recs:
E-40 on Tiny Desk. Then peep Ruby Ibarra. Yee.
Ethiopian food in Eagle Rock. (IKR!)
James. I was lent this book last summer (before it won the Pulitzer!) and finally opened it up. Wow, it is SO good. I am bummed I didn’t start reading this sooner. Never too late!
💥⭐️✨