we made a movie
the biggest thing I learned + other musings from the set
This is a somewhat chaotic post but I have lots on my mind so here we go:
We shot VETERANO on July 1 and 2 in Los Angeles.
I wanted to write about it right away but, to be honest, I needed time to wrap, decompress, and, do businessy things like payroll and cost reporting.
I also got back to work. I took two weeks off to shoot this short film. Thanks to my bosses for letting me take the time.
I thought I would be able to take a nice vacation at a nice hotel for a few days after our shoot. But I couldn’t. (See above.)
And yet, I feel GREAT!
I am creatively rejuvenated and excited to do MORE.
I’m not a robot, of course.
I do need sleep.
But I think the high of making something that I am so excited about… that I believe in so ferociously… and that I seriously cannot wait to get out into the world… has me in the clouds right now.
We just started post but after wrapping production, I am more than ready to take on the next thing, whether it’s the next movie, next set, next production, next creative project — ANYTHING!
Okay, nerd. Calm down.
VETERANO is just a short film.
But, as a writer/producer I look up to kindly reminded me while I was in the throes of the first day of principal photography, handling a million little fires, while trying to keep it somewhat together without bursting into tears…
We’re making a BIG movie.
It may be a short. But it’s a BIG short film.
I think, more than anything, having that belief in yourself and in your project is what makes a producer not just good… but great.
I learned so much on our shoot that I probably have enough newsletter content for the next year.
As longtime readers know, this is the first short film I am producing, and it’s an ambitious one. It’s a proof-of-concept for a feature-length film currently in development. We shot 8 pages in 2 days, 3 locations, with 1 company move, and nearly 40 people in our cast and crew.
I will be sharing everything I have learned and am learning in the making of this project in this newsletter.
(And at some point, there WILL be a paywall… you have been warned… or, more appropriately, encouraged to support my writing? You can go ahead and pledge that support now by clicking on the button below. If you’re already subscribed, just edit your subscription. More info here.)
The thing is…
I really do think the biggest lesson I learned is probably the simplest one.
Believing in myself.
It sounds dumb. Stupid, really.
But when your job is to make a movie out of thin air — that is, to gather a bunch of people (who are all talented, awesome, and will hopefully work well together, etc) to a couple locations across multiple days to film words on a page and make it look REAL! …
Confidence and belief in yourself and the story you are trying to tell is probably the most important thing that can keep you going through the madness of production.
(Well, that and coffee and, in the summer, hydration packets.)
Technical skills and knowledge can be learned. I became versed in the intricacies of filming an indie SAG short film in Los Angeles in weeks. I now also know way too much about payroll. I helped creatively troubleshoot how to change the way we filmed a scene to make it work better narratively and also make our day.
Of course, this is entertainment. Talent, drive, and savvy are also important. I don’t know if those things can be learned or taught. (Remind me to tell you about the time I had to go up to the LAFD station and convince a firefighter to keep their parking lot open for our cast and crew, a situation that has me LOLing now but at the time could have killed our day fr fr…)
Skills and talent aside… belief is the drug that keeps you going.
Or kept ME going anyway, through all of the fires and drama and ups and downs of running and managing a set as the lead producer.
If I am being honest, I didn’t quite have that belief on our first day. I wasn’t nervous because I worked really hard to be as prepared as possible. But I was worried something was going to go wrong — and that something was going to be caused by me.
Our first day was ambitious. We had a bunch of extras. A bunch of shots. A gun. We shot in LA. It’s expensive. The permit process was confusing. Also expensive. We were visited by both the LAPD and LAFD — all was fine but I am told this does not always happen?? Do not get me started on parking costs which more than doubled simply because we were a film production…
There was A LOT going on and a lot for me to manage.
I’m not going to lie… it was also really fun. And I had an incredible team working right alongside me.
But I did spend a lot of the first day wondering, “Am I doing this right??”
I may have asked a couple people I trusted that question… over and over again.
I was delirious.
High off the sheer energy of being on a movie set.
Did I mention I was also costume designer and a background actor?
Yes, that first day was a doozy. But by the afternoon, after we’d shot several scenes, my cast was in their appropriate attire, and I had finished my little background scene… I finally got to watch a few scenes in full alongside our director/writer/producer Patrick Epino.
They were small scenes, nothing too big or overly dramatic. Quiet scenes. Though one involved a tense interaction between our lead and another character.
Seeing those scenes unfold on the monitor, with actors in costumes I drew up with our director and helped put together, and in very specific hair and makeup we planned out with our hair and makeup artist… speaking lines that were, for the longest time, words on a page that Patrick would share with me over several drafts… set against very particular set decoration and props our production designer expertly crafted and put together… shot with the right lights and camera… with a team of artists and artisans all collaborating beautifully to tell a very special story…
That’s when it truly hit me.
We were making a movie.
We are making a movie.
And I believe in it, us, and me.
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My recs for the week:
Who Knew by Barry Diller. I picked this up when it first came out a few weeks ago, but only got through a couple pages before I had to set it aside to dive into production on our film. I started it up again last night and couldn’t put it down. Maybe it’s the producer or, dare I say, exec in me, but I love a good mogul memoir. He’s one of the last, supposedly? Funny enough, I first learned about Diller’s memoir on Substack when
linked to the NY Mag excerpt about his relationship with DVF. How media has changed.Filmstack. I’ve been reading a lot about indie producing and it’s been cool to see a lot of discussion about this right here on Substack. I have a unique perspective on this as someone with a creator background who has made and distributed work in a very DIY grassroots sort of way, and as someone who works at a very notable production company that is very much working within the modern day Hollywood system. It’s cool to see folks encourage the creator model as an approach to filmmaking and distribution, but I do believe change needs to happen within the system and not just outside of it. It’s not easy, and a lot of that change needs to come from the top, but I guess if more and more of us are out here talking about it, writing about it, and doing something about it, then perhaps that change will come? In any case, check out Filmstack or the community of folks on Substack writing about all of this stuff far better than I ever could. Here’s a great post to start with written by
on ’s Hope for Film newsletter:
My stuff. I’ve been busy! I reserve the right to be shameless and plug some of my work on here, mostly because if you’re reading this you might actually be interested in this stuff. Two things:
IN PROXIMITY x IRONHEART. I hosted, directed, and produced a special episode on my company’s podcast IN PROXIMITY about our new TV show IRONHEART. I talked to Chinaka Hodge, the poet-turned-screenwriter who serves as the creator, head writer, and executive producer of the show. In our conversation she broke down her craft and shared the real-life stories that shaped bad girl genius Riri Williams. Folks who have followed my podcast work will know that it’s been a minute since I’ve been on a mic… but Chinaka was a fun and gracious guest, and I got to work with an excellent team to make it all happen. I learned so much about Chinaka’s journey as a bad girl genius herself. Any writers, filmmakers, and generally badass creatives out there will not wanna miss this episode. (P.S. This episode dropped the day after our shoot wrapped. Talk about a crazy week, at least for me!)
VeteranoFilm.com. That’s our film’s website. There’s just a title and some links on there right now but if you want to follow our journey, watch that page for more to come very soon. I’m also sharing updates like this and this on @LongDistanceRadio if you’d like to follow along.
I’ve been waiting on this post and looking forward to the future deep dives. You fucking did it!!! On to the next one!!!
love this 👏🏻